I am a planner. I have always been a planner. Since I was a young girl, I have had my whole life planned out. My life was going to start at a Christian University. I was accepted to Harding. CHECK! I'm on my way! I was going to be a nurse. Well...ok that didn't exactly work out. But what to do now? Oh nevermind the career, I just want my MRS degree anyway! Find that one special guy that God has in store for me at Harding University. The one who wants to be an Orthodontist. Someone tall who likes basketball. The one who can stand in front of a huge crowd and give an elegant lesson from the pulpit when needed. The one who wants 3 kids just like me. The one who is outgoing so that I don't have to do all the talking all the time. Um...God? Where is Mr. Right Now? After 2 years with no guy and still no direction as to what I should be doing with my life...my family was pleading with me to go back to my first love. Nursing. I was only able to be persuaded by my family's VERY direct, in your face, loud, pushy, driven, smart, exchange student (my second brother) who finally had me convinced it was the right thing to do. OK OK I'll do it! So I packed up and left Harding....without the guy. :(
Fast forward about a year. Living at home with mom and dad. Working girl. Student. No friends. Depressed. Did I make the wrong decision to leave Harding? I miss everything about it. My life is NOT going as planned. Bored one night. Need someone to talk to. Join a Christian dating site on line just for the heck of it. Don't want a boyfriend. Don't want to get married anymore. Definitely don't want to meet someone on the internet! (Can you imagine how you'd answer that question later on when someone asks, "So how did y'all meet?" Embarrassing!!) Just need some company. Weeks of weirdos. Get on to cancel my subscription. This is stupid. Someone sends me a message and wants to chat. A 19 year old (I was 21 at the time)....5'7" (my height.)......US Marine....BAHAHA! No thanks kid! Under age, under height, devil dog. ....6 months later that kid put a ring on my finger.
7 months later we said "I do".
8 months later I kissed him goodbye and put him on a bus headed for Iraq, not knowing if I would ever see him again.
13 months later I was throwing my arms around him welcoming him home!!
4 months later, I showed him the stick with the 2 pink lines and told him he was going to be a daddy!
6 months later my Marine moves me across the world to JAPAN where we will be for the next several years.
3 months later I give birth to our little boy.
9 months later I'm writing this with tears streaming down my face because my life HAS NOT GONE ACCORDING TO PLAN!! And I now thank God for that Every. Single. Day. My life could not be more wonderful!
My Marine is my hero; my prince charming. He's not the tall basketball player I had always dreamed about. He's not the outgoing man who likes to speak in front of a crowd. He wants more than 3 kids! And he doesn't get payed hundreds of thousands to fix teeth. But instead he gets the honor and privilege to serve God while serving his country every day. And he is a WONDERFUL husband and father who loves me and our baby boy so much!
My son is my world. He is the most beautiful, wonderful thing I've ever been apart of and I cannot imagine my life without him.
I live on a gorgeous, tropical island with the most wonderful Japanese people. I'm surrounded by friends that God has sent to me. I have an awesome church family. I AM SO BLESSED! Is my life perfect? Of course not. Life is not a bed of roses, as they say. And for that I am thankful. It helps me to strive for perfect which of course will only be found in Heaven with Jesus. Did I get that nursing degree? No. But who knows? Maybe I will go back to school one day. Right now I'm working 24/7 as a mommy. THE most important job I could ever have! Is being a mommy exhausting and hard work? YOU BET! And I only have 1 so far! Does my marriage have struggles? Absolutely. What marriage doesn't? But we work through our problems when they arise which only brings us closer together. Do I get really frustrated sometimes because being in the military means you have no idea what you'll be doing or where you'll be going the next 15 years?! Haha, yes! But I'm so happy that I'm not "settled" in the place I will live forever at the age of 25! I get to explore, make new friends, have several homes to decorate, and teach my children the importance of being grounded in faith instead of having roots in one place. And yeah, I worry sometimes that John will be re-deployed several times during the remainder of his career. But I know that God will be with him and with me and our children and everything will be OK. So now I want to leave you with a challenge. Have you taken a step back and looked at your life recently? Can you see how God worked in it even when it wasn't according to your plan? Are you allowing him to shape and mold you into the person he wants you to be now? You may be in a rut. Been there done that. And usually it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But just know that God is doing something wonderful. Let him. And try not to fight him. Just wait. Pray that you will have patience and that he will teach you something valuable. There is something so much more beautiful that God has in store for you. Or maybe he has already given you the beautiful and you have just been too busy being upset that it's not YOUR plan. I hope that you can sit down with a warm cup of humility and gratitude and take a few minutes to thank God for what he has blessed you with, for the challenges he has put in front of you, for the way he is growing you, for the person he is making you, and for the future he has planned for you.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
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OK, now I have tears streaming down my face. haha. Love this post...such a great story. :) Happy for you guys, and for all you are learning! Love you! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Lee. Love you too!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I didn't cry but that was really sweet. I hope ya'll continue to grow in love for each other and for God. I know you will.
ReplyDeleteThat was a beautiful story!!
ReplyDeleteOMG! Such a wonderful and beautiful story! I am so happy for you and your wonderful family. That story was uplifting to me, I needed that. It gave me motivation that I definitely needed. Life IS hard and it DOESN'T EVER go to plan, but I just do like you said, just let God take over my life. I miss you girl and I appreciate your great stories, they are positive and motivating! - Katie
ReplyDeleteoh bizzy, this post gave me chill bumps, brought tears to my eyes and made me smile! i'm so glad God has blessed your life so much! i love you!!! xo
ReplyDeleteI read this the other day and almost cried (I was too lazy to sign in to comment then though, sorry).
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad God is in charge...even though we have a hard time understanding Him sometimes. He sure has written (and is writing) a beautiful story of your life. I'm so happy I get to be a part of it!
Love you best pal.
Oh girl, you got me crying! Yeah, being married to a jarhead wasn't my plan either, lol. It's amazing how God weaves the perfect story in our lives if we let Him; the best part is even when we don't, and we fight Him, He somehow makes it all work out for good anyway! Only He could do that! :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it so liberating to finally realize that God is in charge?! That you no longer have to try to "plan" your future. That He will take care of you no matter WHERE He sends you! And that what He plans for us is always a million times better than what we could ever dream for ourselves!
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing it is to be surrounded by so much love!